and ye shall be as gods. knowing both good and evil.

what does comfort look like?

i'm feeling like my life is a jealous lover. i am resentful and hurt. i have nothing to be ashamed of and all i really want is comfort from the people i love.
of course, nothing at all has really happened. the only things that have happened are subtle things, things that may or may not only exist in my mind.
i am tired of the winter. i am so tired of feeling guilty and aggressive.
i am especially tired of wanting and wanting, and never getting what i want.

on the bright side, after five years, my wart is finally going away.

i really hope that i don't end up having the kind of face that looks like it's smelling bad cheese all the time.
but, i like it when people make this face. i think it's funny.

been waving a mugwort wand around my foot to rid myself of hatred and warts.

embarassment seems to be the main theme in my life.

i've realized that i am really freaked out by my own success. how do i fix this?

life and death

There is so much death surrounding me. and at the same time, so much celebration of life.
people i love losing people they love, people i love bringing new life into the world, people who love each other pledging their lives to one another.
my reality has turned much more serious.
how do i deal with all these things. of course some are joyful and others painful but, i want to give equal attention to both.
if before life was a distant acquaintance, now life is slapping me in the face.
i wish i had some help.

i am going to work at an adult entertainment establishment. as a waitress.